Gabriel Rimando

Category: Story

A personal journey through consequence, healing, and the slow, disciplined work of rebuilding a life.

This page holds the deeper narrative of who I was and how I changed—the weight I carried, the mistakes that broke me, and the awakening that came from facing myself honestly for the first time. At my heaviest, I reached 120 kilograms, living inside a version of myself I no longer recognized.

My story is about collapse and consequence, but also about discipline, fatherhood, forgiveness, and the long road toward becoming a better man. It is the story of letting go of an old identity, rebuilding from within, and choosing growth over regret. If you’ve ever felt lost, stuck, or in need of a second chance, this is the truth behind my transformation—and the lessons guiding who I am becoming today.

  • Staying When Leaving Was Easier

    There were moments when leaving felt simple.

    Not dramatic. Not emotional.

    Just simple.

    Leaving can look like starting over.

    A new place. A new plan. A new version of yourself.

    It promises relief.

    Staying is quieter.

    Staying means sitting inside what already exists.

    No reset.

    No distance.

    I thought about leaving in different ways.

    Leaving conversations unfinished.

    Leaving responsibilities to time.

    Leaving spaces that felt heavy.

    It would have been easier to step away.

    Easier to explain less.

    Easier to reduce discomfort by reducing presence.

    But ease is not always stability.

    I began to notice that leaving solves feeling, not structure.

    Structure remains wherever you go.

    The patterns follow.

    I chose to remain.

    Not because it was comfortable.

    Because it was necessary.

    Remaining meant facing conversations directly.

    Remaining meant accepting limitation.

    Remaining meant working inside reduced options.

    It was not heroic.

    It was quiet.

    Some days, staying felt heavy.

    Other days, it felt steady.

    Over time, the weight became familiar.

    Familiar weight is easier to carry than avoided weight.

    I did not make announcements.

    I did not explain the choice.

    I simply stayed.

    Staying removed the illusion of escape.

    What remained was responsibility.

    Responsibility requires presence.

    Presence requires endurance.

    I remained.

  • Losing the Identity That Protected Me

    For years, I carried names that made life easier.

    Titles. Roles. Descriptions.

    They introduced me before I spoke.

    They gave shape to how others saw me.

    I became comfortable inside those names.

    They provided direction.

    They also provided cover.

    When something was uncertain, the title remained steady.

    When something felt unstable, the role still sounded solid.

    I did not question it.

    Identity felt secure.

    Over time, those titles became less visible.

    Not removed by force.

    Reduced by circumstance.

    Conversations changed.

    Introductions became shorter.

    Certain descriptions no longer applied.

    I noticed the absence slowly.

    The protection those names offered began to fade.

    Without them, I felt exposed.

    Not attacked.

    Uncovered.

    I could no longer rely on what I had built publicly.

    I had to sit with who I was privately.

    Titles can hold weight.

    When they leave, the person remains.

    I learned that identity built only on role is temporary.

    When the role shifts, the foundation must remain.

    I asked myself simple questions.

    Who am I without the title?

    Who am I without the introduction?

    Who am I when no one is watching?

    The answers were quieter than I expected.

    There was no dramatic loss.

    Only adjustment.

    I stopped trying to protect the old identity.

    I began observing what remained when it was gone.

    What remained was simpler.

    Less decorated.

    More honest.

  • Consequence Arrived Without Explanation

    Consequence does not always arrive with a warning.

    Sometimes it appears quietly.

    Not as punishment. Not as spectacle.

    Just as result.

    There were decisions I made years earlier.

    At the time, they felt reasonable.

    They felt necessary.

    Some felt small.

    Time moved.

    Life continued.

    I stopped thinking about those decisions.

    But consequence does not forget.

    It waits.

    Not emotionally.

    Mechanically.

    One day, the effects became visible.

    Not all at once.

    Gradually.

    Conversations shifted.

    Pressures increased.

    Options narrowed.

    I did not receive a full explanation.

    There was no single reason.

    Only accumulation.

    Consequence is often the weight of many small things.

    Things delayed.

    Things assumed.

    Things left uncorrected.

    It did not feel dramatic.

    It felt final.

    I looked for a clear cause.

    There was none that stood alone.

    It was pattern, not event.

    I could not argue with it.

    I could only live inside it.

    Consequence does not explain itself.

    It presents itself.

    It reduces.

    It limits.

    It clarifies what was ignored.

    There was no speech.

    No announcement.

    Only the realization that certain outcomes had already formed.

    I stopped asking why.

    I began observing what remained.

  • Collapse Without Noise

    There was no single day when everything fell apart.

    No announcement. No public moment.

    Things did not break loudly.

    They loosened.

    A delay here. A missed follow-up there.

    Small gaps widened quietly.

    From the outside, life continued.

    Work moved. Conversations happened. Days passed.

    Inside, structure weakened.

    Not suddenly.

    Gradually.

    I relied on memory instead of systems.

    I relied on intention instead of consistency.

    I assumed tomorrow would correct what today postponed.

    Tomorrow kept moving.

    Responsibilities did not disappear.

    They accumulated.

    Pressure did not explode.

    It settled.

    I adjusted outwardly.

    I minimized internally.

    When something felt unstable, I focused elsewhere.

    When something required structure, I delayed.

    Collapse does not always look dramatic.

    Sometimes it looks like ordinary days repeating without correction.

    I did not feel a crash.

    I felt strain.

    Strain became normal.

    Normal became heavier.

    By the time I noticed, nothing was fully broken.

    But nothing was steady.

    Stability requires maintenance.

    Maintenance requires discipline.

    Discipline was still forming.

    Collapse did not arrive as an event.

    It arrived as absence.

    The absence of follow-through. The absence of correction. The absence of structure.

    There was no moment to point to.

    Only a pattern that had been building quietly.

  • Discipline Was Not Present Yet

    There was a time when discipline was not part of my days.

    I woke up when I wanted. I worked when I felt like it. I rested without planning.

    Nothing looked broken from the outside.

    Things moved. Income came. Responsibilities were handled.

    But there was no structure holding it together.

    My schedule changed often. My focus shifted easily.

    I reacted more than I prepared.

    If something was uncomfortable, I postponed it.

    If something required repetition, I avoided it.

    I preferred urgency over routine.

    Urgency feels productive. Routine feels quiet.

    I chose what felt louder.

    Discipline requires repetition.

    I preferred variation.

    I believed flexibility was strength.

    Sometimes it was.

    Often it was delay.

    I did not measure my days.

    I did not track my habits.

    I trusted momentum.

    Momentum does not last without structure.

    Small tasks piled quietly.

    Follow-ups stretched longer.

    Conversations waited.

    I was not irresponsible.

    I was inconsistent.

    Inconsistency is subtle.

    It does not announce itself.

    It shows up in patterns.

    Sleep at different hours.

    Work at irregular times.

    Decisions made late.

    I believed I could correct things later.

    Later kept moving.

    Discipline was not absent because I rejected it.

    It was absent because I never built it.

    I depended on motivation.

    Motivation changes.

    Structure remains.

    At that time, structure was not present yet.

  • Fatherhood as Exposure

    My first son, Fadi, was born on November 5, 2016.

    I held him carefully. He was small. He was quiet.

    The room felt still.

    I did not feel fear. I felt responsibility.

    Responsibility does not speak loudly. It settles.

    I understood that someone would now grow by watching me.

    Not by listening. By watching.

    That changed how I saw myself.

    I could no longer describe who I wanted to be. I had to become visible.

    Fatherhood did not accuse.

    It revealed.

    It showed where I was steady. It showed where I was inconsistent.

    Children do not ask for explanations.

    They respond to patterns.

    I began to notice my patterns more clearly.

    The way I reacted. The way I delayed. The way I avoided small discomforts.

    These things were no longer private.

    They were being observed.

    Years later, on October 9, 2022, my second son, Ford, was born.

    By then, I had changed in some ways. In other ways, I was still forming.

    Holding him felt familiar. Responsibility returned, but heavier.

    Not because of pressure. Because of repetition.

    I now had two lives watching.

    Fatherhood did not make speeches.

    It made mirrors.

    I saw myself reflected in small behaviors.

    Patience or impatience. Discipline or delay. Presence or distraction.

    Exposure does not humiliate.

    It clarifies.

    I did not become different overnight.

    I became aware.

    Awareness did not fix everything.

    It removed excuses.

    Fatherhood did not demand perfection.

    It required consistency.

    Consistency takes time.

    I am still forming inside that responsibility.

  • Marriage Before Readiness

    We were married in a civil ceremony on June 23, 2015.

    Later that year, on December 30, 2015, we had our church wedding.

    Both days were real. Both days mattered.

    I was happy.

    Not pressured. Not uncertain.

    Just happy.

    I meant the promises.

    I wanted the life we were beginning.

    I was ready to commit.

    I was not fully ready financially.

    Stability was still forming. Structure was still inconsistent.

    Income came. Income went.

    I believed things would settle.

    Marriage did not feel like pressure.

    It felt like direction.

    My decisions were no longer only mine.

    I noticed that immediately.

    Responsibility does not wait for readiness.

    It arrives when it arrives.

    I did not regret getting married.

    I did not doubt the choice.

    But I could see gaps in myself.

    Delays. Avoidance. Inconsistent discipline.

    These things did not disappear because of commitment.

    They became more visible.

    Living with someone removes space.

    It removes the ability to postpone growth quietly.

    Small habits matter more.

    Words matter more.

    Follow-through matters more.

    I was happy.

    I was sincere.

    I was still forming.

    Marriage did not expose failure.

    It exposed responsibility.

    Responsibility became motivation.

    Not loud. Not immediate.

    But steady.

  • When Waiting Became a Way of Living

    At first, waiting felt temporary.

    I told myself it would pass.
    I told myself I was just between things.

    I was waiting for the right time.
    Waiting for things to settle.
    Waiting for clarity.

    Waiting felt reasonable.

    I did not call it avoidance.
    I did not call it fear.

    I called it patience.

    Days passed without change.
    Then weeks.
    Then years.

    Nothing broke.
    Nothing collapsed.

    Life continued.

    That is how waiting works.
    It does not announce itself.

    It blends into routine.

    I postponed small things.

    I delayed decisions.
    I answered later.
    I followed up slowly.

    I said “soon” often.
    I said “after this” a lot.

    Soon became a habit.

    Waiting did not feel heavy at first.

    It felt safe.

    While waiting, I did not have to choose.
    I did not have to fail.
    I did not have to explain.

    Waiting kept things open.

    Open things feel less painful than closed ones.

    Over time, waiting stopped being a pause.

    It became the default.

    I waited before speaking.
    I waited before acting.
    I waited before committing.

    Even when nothing stopped me.

    I learned how to stay in place.

    I learned how to delay without noticing.
    I learned how to live inside unfinished plans.

    Waiting filled the space where action should have been.

    Life around me moved.

    People decided.
    People changed.
    People closed doors and opened others.

    I stayed available.

    Availability felt like flexibility.
    But it was still waiting.

    Waiting shaped my days quietly.

    It shaped how I ate.
    How I worked.
    How I responded.

    It shaped how I carried time.

    Time did not move differently.
    I did.

    There was no single moment when I realized this.

    No event.
    No turning point.

    Just a pattern that became visible later.

    Waiting became a way of living.

    Not dramatic.
    Not painful.

    Just slow.

    I did not stop living.

    I delayed living fully.

    That difference took years to notice.

  • The Weight I Lived Inside

    I arrived in Dubai in 2007 weighing 50 kilos.

    Gabriel Rimando in Dubai in 2007 before weight gain
    Dubai, 2007.

    I was light then.
    Not just in my body, but in how life felt.

    I walked fast.
    I stood straight.
    I did not think much about my body.

    I thought weight was only about size.
    I did not know it could be about pressure.

    At that time, I believed being thin meant being free.

    Years passed.

    Life became louder.

    Work became heavier.
    Responsibility grew.
    Expectations followed.

    I ate when I was tired.
    I ate when I was stressed.
    I ate when I did not want to think.

    Food became a pause button.

    I did not notice the change at first.
    The body does not change in one day.
    It changes quietly.

    A little more weight.
    Then more.
    Then enough that I stopped checking.

    When I reached 120 kilos, it did not feel sudden.

    It felt normal.

    That is how weight works.
    It becomes part of the room.
    You stop seeing it.

    But you feel it.

    You feel it when you sit.
    You feel it when you walk.
    You feel it when you avoid mirrors.

    You feel it when you choose loose clothes.
    You feel it when you stop running.
    You feel it when you rest more than you move.

    The hardest weight was not on my body.

    It was inside.

    It was the weight of avoiding things.
    Avoiding silence.
    Avoiding questions.
    Avoiding responsibility.

    It was easier to carry weight than to face discomfort.

    The body became a place to hide.

    People often think weight is about food.

    For me, it was about pressure.

    Pressure to succeed.
    Pressure to provide.
    Pressure to hold things together.

    Pressure does not ask if you are ready.

    It just arrives.

    And when you do not know how to release pressure,
    it finds a place to stay.

    In my case, it stayed in my body.

    As the weight increased, my world became smaller.

    I said no to things without explaining why.
    I stayed home more.
    I moved less.

    I spoke less about how I felt.
    I joked instead.
    I smiled instead.

    Smiling is easier than explaining.

    I was not lazy.
    I was not careless.

    I was disconnected.

    Disconnected from my body.
    Disconnected from discipline.
    Disconnected from discomfort.

    I lived inside the weight, not just with it.

    At 120 kilos, I did not hate my body.

    I simply stopped listening to it.

    That is more dangerous.

    When you stop listening, you stop learning.

    This story is not about losing weight.

    It is about how weight can carry meaning.

    It can carry stress.
    It can carry silence.
    It can carry things left unfinished.

    The body remembers what the mind avoids.

    I arrived in Dubai at 50 kilos.
    I reached 120 kilos years later.

    Between those numbers was not just time.

    There was pressure.
    There was waiting.
    There was avoidance.

    And there was a quiet lesson I did not yet understand.

    That weight is never only physical.

    Sometimes, it is the shape of what we do not face.

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